My name is Mackenzie Wilson, and I was granted a Living Amends scholarship I’ve used to help fund my stay at my sober living house. I cannot begin to express what your living amends help has done for me, even just a month in. Staying here as I begin my sober journey isn’t just about having a roof over my head with fellow recovering addicts.
Preparing for Making Amends in AA
If they didn’t pay attention, I do my best to let them suffer the consequence. If they take my words for granted, sometimes, I take a break from talking. I don’t punish them with silence (although I did do that in the past). My Mom, on the other hand, loves to complain about Ricky’s behavior. Sometimes I can listen supportively for a short period of time.
Making Amends in Addiction Recovery
Instead, it is an action we take to compensate for what we have done. Living Amends helped out my recovery and sobriety immensely. When I moved to Austin, I had almost no money to my name. I found out about the scholarship https://ecosoberhouse.com/ through a friend and applied, and to my amazement, I got it. Getting this scholarship took a lot of stress and worry off of my mind and made it possible for me to get a job and get my feet underneath me.
Apologies vs. Amends
- We are both committed to being kind, loving, and considerate and doing whatever is in our power not to cause harm to someone else.
- It’s important to note that making amends is for the person we hurt.
- The goal in making amends is “to freely admit the damage we’ve done and make our apologies,” according to The Big Book.
- We strengthen and reinforce healthy recovery whenever we do our part to repair relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding.
These promises are often the most difficult to keep because addiction plays a decisive role in a person’s ability to live up to their promises. Their parent may feel more pain for their addicted child’s inability to get sober than the material items lost due to the thefts. Join our supportive sober community where each day becomes a step towards personal growth and lasting positive change. With all those articles (that you should go back and check out if you haven’t read them), it would be easy to assume we have said all there is to say. But if you are dealing with guilt and grief, you probably aren’t surprised that there is more to say. Somehow in all this guilt writing, we have never talked about making amends with someone who died.
Making a living amends involves apologizing to your loved ones that you hurt and using your actions to prove you have changed and are committed to living a healthier and sober lifestyle. When someone struggles with addiction, they are not the only ones affected. Individuals battling substance abuse can become different versions of themselves and make decisions or behave in ways that hurt their loved ones. Addiction is often isolating, which can make quitting difficult. With proper treatment, individuals can become sober and turn their lives around.
- Understanding some making amends examples can help the individual correct past behaviors.
- I’m just not going to speak to anyone.” Avoid the temptation to get out of this step.
- At Harmony Haus, we offer the guidance and support members need to navigate this stage in their recovery.
- We can also make amends by living very purposefully within the bounds of our principles.
- Talk with your sponsor or others in your recovery community about what has worked for them.
When and Why Do People Make Living Amends?
I knew that all it would take was one single moment of weakness, one split second, for me to call one of them up if I found myself craving a drink or drug. The idea that it would all be so readily available to me was too scary to fathom, so I knew that going to my parents’ house was suddenly no longer an option for me. It was my fourth time in treatment, and they weren’t very supportive or optimistic, but I told them I was going to die without help. Towards the end of treatment, I was having panic attacks because I didn’t know what I was going to do, but then Any Length Retreat had me apply for the Living Amends scholarship. At Living Amends, we strive to ensure that each recipient of our scholarship can get the on-going support they need to stay sober. To learn more about our program or to apply for our scholarship, please contact our team members today.
Where Do You Start with Step 9 AA?
The more personalized your lifestyle changes are, the more they’re going to resonate and stick with you. It’s really hard to apologize to those you’ve hurt — it takes courage and humility and requires a deep, intense look at yourself. It follows, then, that Step Nine is a challenging step.
Usually, it isn’t really satisfying, nor does it take away the concern that the person is simply trying to get you to leave them alone or forget about what just happened. I am not proud of that, but it is the reality of how I used to behave. I also made countless promises to her that I did not keep. It ranged from promising to fix something around the house to going to a family gathering.
Recovery Coaching
It is worth it to cross the bridge on the journey of healing towards making amends. It does not mean it will all go smoothly but at least being sincere and honest will go a long way towards reconciling those important family relationships. Apologizing to loved ones can be a challenging and emotional process. At Harmony Haus, we offer the guidance and support members need to navigate this stage in their recovery.
- Unfortunately, after you get sober, all the hurt and destruction you caused in the wake of your addiction doesn’t just go away.
- When someone harms others, they often lose a relationship with that person or at least that person’s trust.
- We may want our children and families to love, accept and forgive us, but we shouldn’t confuse our wants with our needs.
- It does not mean it will all go smoothly but at least being sincere and honest will go a long way towards reconciling those important family relationships.
- It would be nice if the above outcomes were universal—but they aren’t (of course).
Ninety percent of the time, I keep my mouth shut, but I am my son’s mother. I have a responsibility to parent him and speak out for his best interests. Likewise, my marriage is a partnership with my husband. Early in my recovery, I learned neither my son nor my husband was listening to anything I said. New Life House has helped young men stay sober for over 35 years. We came from very humble beginnings, and would love to tell you our story of success and recovery.